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Moms are always up in arms over what people forgot to tell them about pregnancy, childbirth or motherhood. My gripe is this. How come nobody told me that after enjoying instant boob enhancement with pregnancy, that I would suffer just as instanteneous boob depletion once I stopped nursing? I mean, it was like somebody took a needle to my balloons.
I've always been a devout member of the itty bitty titty committee. Hell, I could run for President and sweep the elections. So you can imagine my joy when just moments after conceiving Z, my boobs became hard as coconuts and grew deep and lushious valleys. Cleavage glorious cleavage.
I wore plunging neck lines. I stood naked in front of the mirror and gawked. I held them like a giddy teenage boy.
It really made pregnancy worth living.
This went on while I breast fed, although they were more like machines and less like toys at that point.
Then, once Z matured away from the breast, I gave up nursing. (How sad this occasion made me is another post entirely.)
And moments later, complete shrinkage.
AND NOW THEY'RE EVEN SMALLER THAN THEY WERE BEFORE, ONLY WITH AN ADDED BONUS: THEY SAG!
I propose an amendment to the popular book What To Expect When You're Expecting. They should add a chapter called "What to Expect When They Kick You Out of The Well Endowed Club and Drag You Kicking And Screaming Back Into the Itty Bitty Titty Committee."
It's so rude.
Friday, March 30, 2007
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Steph nods, sadly recalling the days when her undergarments did not involve underwire or padding.
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Moms are always up in arms over what people forgot to tell them about pregnancy, childbirth or motherhood. My gripe is this. How come nobody told me that after enjoying instant boob enhancement with pregnancy, that I would suffer just as instanteneous boob depletion once I stopped nursing? I mean, it was like somebody took a needle to my balloons.
I've always been a devout member of the itty bitty titty committee. Hell, I could run for President and sweep the elections. So you can imagine my joy when just moments after conceiving Z, my boobs became hard as coconuts and grew deep and lushious valleys. Cleavage glorious cleavage.
I wore plunging neck lines. I stood naked in front of the mirror and gawked. I held them like a giddy teenage boy.
It really made pregnancy worth living.
This went on while I breast fed, although they were more like machines and less like toys at that point.
Then, once Z matured away from the breast, I gave up nursing. (How sad this occasion made me is another post entirely.)
And moments later, complete shrinkage.
AND NOW THEY'RE EVEN SMALLER THAN THEY WERE BEFORE, ONLY WITH AN ADDED BONUS: THEY SAG!
I propose an amendment to the popular book What To Expect When You're Expecting. They should add a chapter called "What to Expect When They Kick You Out of The Well Endowed Club and Drag You Kicking And Screaming Back Into the Itty Bitty Titty Committee."
It's so rude.
itty bitty titty committee
I've always been a devout member of the itty bitty titty committee. Hell, I could run for President and sweep the elections. So you can imagine my joy when just moments after conceiving Z, my boobs became hard as coconuts and grew deep and lushious valleys. Cleavage glorious cleavage.
I wore plunging neck lines. I stood naked in front of the mirror and gawked. I held them like a giddy teenage boy.
It really made pregnancy worth living.
This went on while I breast fed, although they were more like machines and less like toys at that point.
Then, once Z matured away from the breast, I gave up nursing. (How sad this occasion made me is another post entirely.)
And moments later, complete shrinkage.
AND NOW THEY'RE EVEN SMALLER THAN THEY WERE BEFORE, ONLY WITH AN ADDED BONUS: THEY SAG!
I propose an amendment to the popular book What To Expect When You're Expecting. They should add a chapter called "What to Expect When They Kick You Out of The Well Endowed Club and Drag You Kicking And Screaming Back Into the Itty Bitty Titty Committee."
It's so rude.