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I knew having children would change me forever. I knew it was a lesson in sacrifice. I knew it was a huge responsibility and that it was the end of the era of Me.
But I never grasped how much it would change me physically, and mentally, until after the fact.
Before I became pregnant for the first time, I was an avid reader. I was also working on a collection of short stories and had submitted a few of them to literary publications.
AFTER I became pregnant, the only thing I read was books on pregnancy. The only thing I thought about was pregnancy. I had developed a one-track mind. Pregnancy, pregnancy, pregnancy. Babies this and babies that. It's all I could focus on.
My mind turned to mush.
As my brain cells atrophied, my body packed on the weight. The first thing I did after peeing on the stick was jump for joy. The second thing I did after peeing on the stick was eat an entire chocolate cake. Or, a whole bag of Cheetos. Whatever it was. You get the idea. I took that eating for two thing to heart. It became my religion.
So, my mind is Jello.
And so is my ass.
"But it's so worth it!" enthusiastic ladies on the playground will say.
Yes, it's worth it. But, I'm still struggling with the reality that you don't really spring all the way back to your former self after having the baby.
I gained 50 pounds with my first child and 55 with my second. I've lost the weight fairly quickly both times. But, weight is only a number. And now I know my body will never be the same.
Before I became pregnant the first time I was running 5 miles, four times a week. Then, halfway into my pregnancy I began hearing the cartilage in my knees creak every time I bent them. A few months after giving birth to my second child I tried getting in shape again. I started trying to run. Trying. I started working out with an exercise ball. I think I overextended my knee. It's been injured for months and I feel like I might never run again. Not like I used to. I see people running and I want to cry. I miss it that bad.
Then there's the thing about the boobs.
I was never well endowed. So I never experienced any sagging. There just wasn't anything there to sag. But, after enjoying a brief and ever so blissful period of bodaciousness, like two minutes after weaning my daughter from the breast, my boobs completely deflated. And sagged! Can you imagine what small sagging boobs look like? If you can't, do yourself a favor and don't even try.
I'm 37 and I feel like I'm 50. Before I became pregnant, I was 34 and I felt like 25.
That's the thing they don't tell you.
My brain and my body are old now. My memory is shot. My body aches. I'm so very, very tired. I'm no fun. I'm not hot. At least I never feel as though I am.
But I guess that's not what's important anymore anyway.
It's not about me. It's about them.
And they're fun.
They're real fun.
They got that from me.
This post was a contribution to The Parent Blogger Network's collaboration with Discovery Health. It's an effort to introduce their new docu-drama “Deliver Me” which follows three women - best friends, working mothers and physicians - as they balance delivering babies together in their OB/GYN practice with their lives outside the delivery room.
The task? We want to hear your truth: What is it about pregnancy, parenting, and motherhood in general that only a girlfriend will tell you? Tell us what you wished you knew before becoming a mom.
5 comments:
It's most assuredly not just you. I, too, am 37, and looking at the devastation that was once my rockin' figure, I sometimes can't convince myself that it is all worth it! I mean, I wouldn't trade our four children for anything in the world...but on the bad days, maybe my perky breasts and tight bellybutton!
You are right, it is not about us. But in some way, some "crossing the line" as you say, that too, can make me feel sad. As if, my time has passed, and now, it's all about investing in the future, which is our children. And the selfish part of me yells, HEY! I'm not dead yet! What the hell happened? I know better, but it is as there of two of me trapped in there, duking it out for supremacy. The wise one usually wins, but just every now and then...well, you probably know.
I could go on and on and on about this subject, the transformative properties of becoming a mother, both physically, emotionally and spiritually. I'll stop now.
Thanks for reminding me I'm not the only one battling the mirror, my jeans, and my old bras (where DID THE OOMPH GO?!?), but that there is a higher calling than catering to these feelings.
Oh man. I was looking at my stomach in the mirror tonight and I look like a belly-button burn victim. I mourn my former stomach.
I know of what you say. But, it's not too late for everything. We'll find a new equilibrium.
Oh man. I was looking at my stomach in the mirror tonight and I look like a belly-button burn victim. I mourn my former stomach.
I know of what you say. But, it's not too late for everything. We'll find a new equilibrium.
My mom always told me you lose brain cells with every child. I didn't know how true that is until I had my boy. It's like he sucks out my intelligence along with the milk. The crazy thing is that I don't mind, Much.
I've been exercising regularly since January 1. I've seen my thighs firm up and my upper arms get more defined. But my belly...my belly remains permanently saggy and jello-y and looks like a sad, deflated balloon. I hear ya.
And shit, I've been working on Eat Pray Love for like, three months now. Someone help me finish a dang book! Again, I hear ya!
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My brain was the first to go. Then my body followed it down the spiral like a demented, love sick puppy.
I knew having children would change me forever. I knew it was a lesson in sacrifice. I knew it was a huge responsibility and that it was the end of the era of Me.
But I never grasped how much it would change me physically, and mentally, until after the fact.
Before I became pregnant for the first time, I was an avid reader. I was also working on a collection of short stories and had submitted a few of them to literary publications.
AFTER I became pregnant, the only thing I read was books on pregnancy. The only thing I thought about was pregnancy. I had developed a one-track mind. Pregnancy, pregnancy, pregnancy. Babies this and babies that. It's all I could focus on.
My mind turned to mush.
As my brain cells atrophied, my body packed on the weight. The first thing I did after peeing on the stick was jump for joy. The second thing I did after peeing on the stick was eat an entire chocolate cake. Or, a whole bag of Cheetos. Whatever it was. You get the idea. I took that eating for two thing to heart. It became my religion.
So, my mind is Jello.
And so is my ass.
"But it's so worth it!" enthusiastic ladies on the playground will say.
Yes, it's worth it. But, I'm still struggling with the reality that you don't really spring all the way back to your former self after having the baby.
I gained 50 pounds with my first child and 55 with my second. I've lost the weight fairly quickly both times. But, weight is only a number. And now I know my body will never be the same.
Before I became pregnant the first time I was running 5 miles, four times a week. Then, halfway into my pregnancy I began hearing the cartilage in my knees creak every time I bent them. A few months after giving birth to my second child I tried getting in shape again. I started trying to run. Trying. I started working out with an exercise ball. I think I overextended my knee. It's been injured for months and I feel like I might never run again. Not like I used to. I see people running and I want to cry. I miss it that bad.
Then there's the thing about the boobs.
I was never well endowed. So I never experienced any sagging. There just wasn't anything there to sag. But, after enjoying a brief and ever so blissful period of bodaciousness, like two minutes after weaning my daughter from the breast, my boobs completely deflated. And sagged! Can you imagine what small sagging boobs look like? If you can't, do yourself a favor and don't even try.
I'm 37 and I feel like I'm 50. Before I became pregnant, I was 34 and I felt like 25.
That's the thing they don't tell you.
My brain and my body are old now. My memory is shot. My body aches. I'm so very, very tired. I'm no fun. I'm not hot. At least I never feel as though I am.
But I guess that's not what's important anymore anyway.
It's not about me. It's about them.
And they're fun.
They're real fun.
They got that from me.
This post was a contribution to The Parent Blogger Network's collaboration with Discovery Health. It's an effort to introduce their new docu-drama “Deliver Me” which follows three women - best friends, working mothers and physicians - as they balance delivering babies together in their OB/GYN practice with their lives outside the delivery room.
The task? We want to hear your truth: What is it about pregnancy, parenting, and motherhood in general that only a girlfriend will tell you? Tell us what you wished you knew before becoming a mom.
Crossing the line
I knew having children would change me forever. I knew it was a lesson in sacrifice. I knew it was a huge responsibility and that it was the end of the era of Me.
But I never grasped how much it would change me physically, and mentally, until after the fact.
Before I became pregnant for the first time, I was an avid reader. I was also working on a collection of short stories and had submitted a few of them to literary publications.
AFTER I became pregnant, the only thing I read was books on pregnancy. The only thing I thought about was pregnancy. I had developed a one-track mind. Pregnancy, pregnancy, pregnancy. Babies this and babies that. It's all I could focus on.
My mind turned to mush.
As my brain cells atrophied, my body packed on the weight. The first thing I did after peeing on the stick was jump for joy. The second thing I did after peeing on the stick was eat an entire chocolate cake. Or, a whole bag of Cheetos. Whatever it was. You get the idea. I took that eating for two thing to heart. It became my religion.
So, my mind is Jello.
And so is my ass.
"But it's so worth it!" enthusiastic ladies on the playground will say.
Yes, it's worth it. But, I'm still struggling with the reality that you don't really spring all the way back to your former self after having the baby.
I gained 50 pounds with my first child and 55 with my second. I've lost the weight fairly quickly both times. But, weight is only a number. And now I know my body will never be the same.
Before I became pregnant the first time I was running 5 miles, four times a week. Then, halfway into my pregnancy I began hearing the cartilage in my knees creak every time I bent them. A few months after giving birth to my second child I tried getting in shape again. I started trying to run. Trying. I started working out with an exercise ball. I think I overextended my knee. It's been injured for months and I feel like I might never run again. Not like I used to. I see people running and I want to cry. I miss it that bad.
Then there's the thing about the boobs.
I was never well endowed. So I never experienced any sagging. There just wasn't anything there to sag. But, after enjoying a brief and ever so blissful period of bodaciousness, like two minutes after weaning my daughter from the breast, my boobs completely deflated. And sagged! Can you imagine what small sagging boobs look like? If you can't, do yourself a favor and don't even try.
I'm 37 and I feel like I'm 50. Before I became pregnant, I was 34 and I felt like 25.
That's the thing they don't tell you.
My brain and my body are old now. My memory is shot. My body aches. I'm so very, very tired. I'm no fun. I'm not hot. At least I never feel as though I am.
But I guess that's not what's important anymore anyway.
It's not about me. It's about them.
And they're fun.
They're real fun.
They got that from me.
This post was a contribution to The Parent Blogger Network's collaboration with Discovery Health. It's an effort to introduce their new docu-drama “Deliver Me” which follows three women - best friends, working mothers and physicians - as they balance delivering babies together in their OB/GYN practice with their lives outside the delivery room.
The task? We want to hear your truth: What is it about pregnancy, parenting, and motherhood in general that only a girlfriend will tell you? Tell us what you wished you knew before becoming a mom.