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I’ve been working a freelance job lately that’s turned into more hours than I expected. When I signed on, it was supposed to be part-time, which is perfect for me, given my other freelance projects, personal writing and time I want to spend with my kids. But after putting in more than a few late nights, yesterday I had to put my foot down and set some boundaries. Basically, I had to ask off a certain piece of business because it requires more time than I’m able to devote to it. The “Creative” Director said it was a job that required a lot of late nights, and I had to say to him, “I’m sorry. Then, unfortunately you’ll have to find another writer.”
Luckily, there are other accounts at this company and they are moving me onto those starting tomorrow. I feel bad for not being able to do that job for them, but I would feel even worse if I never saw my children in the evenings, and that is exactly what this guy was asking of me.
This isn’t the first time I’ve put my children before my career. I’ve been in the advertising business for 15 years (God, I’m old!). My dues have long been paid and the receipts have yellowed. I’ve come to the point in my life when my work life balance is something I need to control myself. My children are still very young and they will not be young for long and I will not miss out on these years. Not for anything.
This makes me think of Sarah Palin.
I bet there are some mothers who've looked at Sarah Palin and wondered, why now? Could there be any worse time to be the Vice President of the United States than when your child with Down’s Syndrome is only 4 months old? And if she truly can juggle five children with a job in the White House, how will she manage all that without being spread thin somewhere? Because all working moms know that she will always feel like she’s not doing a good enough job somewhere. The question is, who will suffer? Can we afford for her job to be the one? Can we respect a woman who chooses to put herself in the spotlight when her children need her most?
Call me old-fashioned. Believe it or not, I am usually the feminist. And yes, her daughters will have quite the role model, as will many young girls in our country if she lands her spot in history. I just feel sorry for her son. And I wouldn’t want to be Sarah Palin on those nights when she’s stuck on an airplane flying to a foreign country while a domestic employee puts her baby to bed. I wouldn’t want to feel the immense pressure of that tug on my heartstrings. And I also can’t help but wonder, that if she doesn't feel that, what that says about her heart?
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
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10 comments:
A 4 month old baby and a 17 year old having a baby. I think she has a lot on her plate at home.
I am so conflicted about this. The worst part is that I think there were much more qualified women that were overlooked. I also think there is some sort of strange cover up w/ the whole Trig birth/Bristol pregnancy. She didn't tell her co-workers or FAMILY she was pregnant w/ Trig until she was 7 mos! The secrecy thing is strange.
The Vice President will get to set her own hours and bring the child WITH her. If anyone can get the right hours she'll be able to.
(Vice Presidents have no actual responsibilities except what the President says and what they agree to - many have been talking heads with an office.)
The thing I hate most about being a mother is that it limits my potential. Not because I want it to, but because society thinks it must. I see Sarah Palin as liberating me beyond all society's conditions on motherhood and work. God willing.
After slugging my way to the glass ceiling and dealing with a bunch of rules that men made up a long time ago (along with a lot of other women of my generation, I might add), I can't believe we're still having this conversation. No matter what I might think of her political beliefs, she has the right to make that determination for herself and for her family. And I doubt that the country would suffer for her decision. It looks like she has an able-bodied husband who is involved in the children's care, so it may be that they have jointly decided that she will pursue her career while he minds the home fires, like thousands of other American families do every day. We wouldn't be having this discussion if it were MR. Palin running for VP, would we?
And why are we women the most judgmental about other women's choices?
Having said that, I can't get over the obvious pandering that is going on with this VP choice. Are we women supposed to automatically drool because she has a vagina?
Your Opinionated Mom
Great post. I am a Canadian and absolutely nowhere near a Republican, so it's not like what I say holds any water, but...
It's a tough call. I don't like the woman in general, and am shocked by her admission that she went back to work a mere 4 days after giving birth to her fifth child, one with Down's no less, but...
Would we say the same of a man? Do we? Do we admonish a man for going back to work after his child is born, even though we insist that they actively participate in parenting their child?
If Palin does not become VP, there are way better reasons than because it would be too hard for her to be a good mother at the same time.
Tracee,
You're right. The VP doesn't have such an active role, and therefore could probably juggle her motherhood duties with the Vice Presidency just fine.
Mom,
I hear ya. It doesn't seem very progressive on any of our parts to scrutinize her in such a way just because she's a woman. Or, to expect us to swoon over her for the same reason.
And yes, she does have the right to decide for herself how to divide the duties in her own household. We have all earned that right as women.
I'm just sayin', I can't help but feel for her struggle to maintain them both adequately. If she can do it, more power to her.
Jeez, even your MOM is cool!
Totally with the mamacita on this one, if Palin was a man it would be a non-issue.
I'm trying hard not to personalize Palin's decisions as a mother, because ultimately that's a choice that is hers to make, which I find ironic given that she and her hard-right colleagues seek to limit the choices all women have available to them when family planning.
But what I do feel perfectly within my right to judge is her political platform, which is SCARY, in all caps.
Also, she shoots mooses.
Poor mooses.
I read something about Palin's arrangements in Alaska - she'd walk out to her daughter's bus stop after school and would host playdates in her office. If you're governor/VP, you can tell your staff to clear your schedule at x time every day. If you're the governor's chief of staff (or secretary or what have you), though, chances are YOU don't get to go to the bus stop at 3:30. I'm more interested in how she'll support the ability of the rest of us to make work/parenting arrangements that work for us and our families. I don't think she'll do much good for the rest of us.
A note to your mom: check out the clip on the Daily Show about Palin as H. Clinton's gynecological twin. It relates to your point about us women drooling just because she has a vagina. http://www.thedailyshow.com/video/index.jhtml?videoId=183521&title=John-McCain-Chooses-a-Running-Mate
Agree and disagree, both.
First of all, I would be asking this exact question, perhaps not in the same way, but the same question nonetheless, if a male VP candidate had 4 kids (I say 4, because the oldest is grown and out of the house, for pete's sake), one of whom was an infant with special needs. I think the fact that she is a woman is being used as a reason to NOT talk about the obvious.
Personally, I think she's entirely without heart. No way would I be putting the emotional and physical energy required for running a presidential campaign if I had her family situation. You can't be dragging an infant with DS around all over the country on a candidate's schedule, so she's basically not going to be seeing him during his first year of life. And her pregnant teenage daughter? If she is going to have any hope of making it as a new mom, she is really going to need both of her parents around to support her - mom and dad both.
On the other hand, it's her family, her family's decision. As I often say to others when my own decision to work is criticized, obliquely or directly, "Well, every family's different, and this is what works for mine."
I can't stand this woman's politics. I'd cast a vote for the late Grandpa Munster before I'd consider casting a vote for McBush/Pail.
I do, however, agree with all the people who have come to the defense of her working. We simply do not ask the same of a man. We do not ask how Obama will continue to be a father to his two daughter while hopefully running the US. We didn't ask former Sen. Rick Santorum (thankfully now gone) how he could lead PA while having 6 kids at home. We do not require that men answer this question. It's unfair.
And it's the only think I'm on Palin's side about. And your mom is awesome. My sentiments exactly. Does McBush think women are so stupid as to vote against their own self-interest because we share a birth canal in common?
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I’ve been working a freelance job lately that’s turned into more hours than I expected. When I signed on, it was supposed to be part-time, which is perfect for me, given my other freelance projects, personal writing and time I want to spend with my kids. But after putting in more than a few late nights, yesterday I had to put my foot down and set some boundaries. Basically, I had to ask off a certain piece of business because it requires more time than I’m able to devote to it. The “Creative” Director said it was a job that required a lot of late nights, and I had to say to him, “I’m sorry. Then, unfortunately you’ll have to find another writer.”
Luckily, there are other accounts at this company and they are moving me onto those starting tomorrow. I feel bad for not being able to do that job for them, but I would feel even worse if I never saw my children in the evenings, and that is exactly what this guy was asking of me.
This isn’t the first time I’ve put my children before my career. I’ve been in the advertising business for 15 years (God, I’m old!). My dues have long been paid and the receipts have yellowed. I’ve come to the point in my life when my work life balance is something I need to control myself. My children are still very young and they will not be young for long and I will not miss out on these years. Not for anything.
This makes me think of Sarah Palin.
I bet there are some mothers who've looked at Sarah Palin and wondered, why now? Could there be any worse time to be the Vice President of the United States than when your child with Down’s Syndrome is only 4 months old? And if she truly can juggle five children with a job in the White House, how will she manage all that without being spread thin somewhere? Because all working moms know that she will always feel like she’s not doing a good enough job somewhere. The question is, who will suffer? Can we afford for her job to be the one? Can we respect a woman who chooses to put herself in the spotlight when her children need her most?
Call me old-fashioned. Believe it or not, I am usually the feminist. And yes, her daughters will have quite the role model, as will many young girls in our country if she lands her spot in history. I just feel sorry for her son. And I wouldn’t want to be Sarah Palin on those nights when she’s stuck on an airplane flying to a foreign country while a domestic employee puts her baby to bed. I wouldn’t want to feel the immense pressure of that tug on my heartstrings. And I also can’t help but wonder, that if she doesn't feel that, what that says about her heart?
Life, work and Sarah Palin
Luckily, there are other accounts at this company and they are moving me onto those starting tomorrow. I feel bad for not being able to do that job for them, but I would feel even worse if I never saw my children in the evenings, and that is exactly what this guy was asking of me.
This isn’t the first time I’ve put my children before my career. I’ve been in the advertising business for 15 years (God, I’m old!). My dues have long been paid and the receipts have yellowed. I’ve come to the point in my life when my work life balance is something I need to control myself. My children are still very young and they will not be young for long and I will not miss out on these years. Not for anything.
This makes me think of Sarah Palin.
I bet there are some mothers who've looked at Sarah Palin and wondered, why now? Could there be any worse time to be the Vice President of the United States than when your child with Down’s Syndrome is only 4 months old? And if she truly can juggle five children with a job in the White House, how will she manage all that without being spread thin somewhere? Because all working moms know that she will always feel like she’s not doing a good enough job somewhere. The question is, who will suffer? Can we afford for her job to be the one? Can we respect a woman who chooses to put herself in the spotlight when her children need her most?
Call me old-fashioned. Believe it or not, I am usually the feminist. And yes, her daughters will have quite the role model, as will many young girls in our country if she lands her spot in history. I just feel sorry for her son. And I wouldn’t want to be Sarah Palin on those nights when she’s stuck on an airplane flying to a foreign country while a domestic employee puts her baby to bed. I wouldn’t want to feel the immense pressure of that tug on my heartstrings. And I also can’t help but wonder, that if she doesn't feel that, what that says about her heart?