Having Everything

This morning, I made it to a 9am yoga class taught by my favorite yoga instructor. I like her class because it’s tough. I’m not a big sweater and yoga rarely moves me to perspire, but in her class I get misty. And I’m always sore as hell the next day. So, I like her class because it works. But I also like her because she begins each class by reading us a passage from a book. It’s often inspiring and it gives us an idea of how to dedicate our practice.

Today’s passage was about being happy with what we have.

This is a concept I’ve always struggled with. No matter where I am, I want to be somewhere else. No matter what I’m doing, I’m wondering what else there is to do. No matter who I am at the moment, I’m always clinging to the person I once was or wishing I could be the person I haven’t yet become.

My house is never clean enough. My hair is never the right color. My body is never thin enough, nor my boobs big enough. My husband is either too this or not enough of that. My job is either too stressful or too boring. My skin is old. My back is always sore.

Wah wah wah wah wah wah wah

So, this morning while I listened to Jenny, the yoga instructor, wax poetic about self-preservation, I promised myself not to make any resolutions this year.

Because last year my resolutions were highly ambitious, and looking back over them I see a few successes. But mostly I see failures.

This year, I don’t want to have to take tap lessons to be happy.

This year, I want to keep my life exactly the way it is. I don’t want anything to change except my attitude toward it.

I want to love my hair even when the roots are growing in.

I want to love my house even when there are too many dirty dishes in the sink.

I want to love my husband even when he leaves his clothes on the bedroom floor.

I want to love my son even when he wakes me up at 3am.

I want to love my daughter even when she refuses to eat dinner or sit on the potty.

I want to love my job even when it’s boring.

I want to appreciate all that I have.

The end of the passage she read really hit home for me.

It read: Appreciate all that you have. Because you already have everything.

Happy New Year.