Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Second Childhood

I grew up in dance classes. From that first class in preschool, when ballet took the form of imitating a giraffe, I was hooked. By the time I was thirteen I was taking three classes a week--tap, jazz and pointe--and a combination of all three in a four-hour Saturday morning workshop. The walls of my room were literally wallpapered with posters of Arabesquing bodies, worn ballet shoes under leg warmers and legs that plied (plee-ayed) in the first position. You remember this classic poster, right?
Well, that was my life. My passion. My first love. Until one day I looked in the mirror and I was awkwardly tall and clearly not fit for a lifetime of being hoisted above someone's shoulders under a spotlight. (Sniff Sniff)

Dance has since been my one that got away. Which is why I got so excited on the day my daughter started ballet class. And so disappointed when her enthusiasm too quickly turned to fear and then a dropping of the class.

For about 12 years I've been telling myself I was going to take tap classes again. Because it's the one form of dance that doesn't require a willowy frame. And because it was always my favorite anyway.

Last night, I finally went to the first dance class I'd been to in 25 years. I was immediately reminded why I dropped classes in the first class. That wall of mirrors is a mean one. But I was also reminded why I'd been pining for that room ever since I left it. The bars against the wall. The hard, scuffed floor. The loud music. The dance instructor shouting to be heard above it. And the rhythmic stomping of feet.

I think my cheeks hurt afterward from smiling the whole time. I felt subconscious on the way there. Especially when I was at the store trying on my tap shoes. I asked myself, "What is a 38-year-old woman doing taking a tap class?"

The way I felt afterward answered my question.

What's so silly about wanting to feel like you're thirteen again?

4 comments:

Am I doing okay? said...

Good For you!

Magpie said...

Cool!

I took ballet class for a while as a grown-up. I loved it, and I should do it again. But there's no time...

Jenny said...

That is absolutely wonderful! I am so proud of you! Chase your passions, no matter where they go. This is better than enrolling your daughter, way to be a good role model!

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